Be Still

Dumbest Blogger Ever

2006-07-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

Quite possibly the dumbest blogger on the planet...

This anti-choice activist cites an article from the Onion in support of his cause. Too bad he is so obtuse that he didn't know it was satire.

Even worse, after 900 comments trying to explain satire to him, he posted this unbelievable follow-up. Oh, and this one...

If this is who makes up the anti-choice movement, I think it is safe to say legal abortion will stay that way.

What is up with the Miro Google logo today?

2006-04-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

Leave it to Google to distract me from fiscal responsibility. As I settle in to pay my phone bill online at the last minute, I get mesmerized by the bright shiny thing on the Google home page.

Today, the Google logo is Miro-inspired, which would be a lovely thing, except for the fact that a nosy-nellie like myself is now hopelessly off-track for the day. I feel compelled to understand WHY.

I'm not a complete philistine (hey, I went to art school...) so I do know that it is the 113th anniversary of Joan Miro's birth, but geez, what an obscure milestone to celebrate with a commemorative Google logo. What logo is slated for tomorrow? The 2,759th anniversary of the day Rome was founded?

I'm sure the blogosphere will give me the answer before the end of the day. I'll be sure to update this post for anyone who, like myself, actually gives a shit about this kind of stuff.

UPDATE:
Turns out the estate of Miro were less-than-thrilled about the tribute. They asked Google to remove it. I guess they didn't get permission to re-use certain elements in the logo. Google honored the request but issued a statement that they did not believe the logo was a copyright violation.

Thanks Blogosphere!

In the candy aisle at Walgreens

2006-04-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

He said: Doesn't your mom like "Peeps"?

She said: She could eat her weight in "Peeps".

He said: Aren't they made of marshmallow? Damn, that's a lot of "Peeps".

Dinner Conversation

2006-04-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

She said: "I think "The Apprentice" has finally run its course, thank God! Maybe the Donald could go on "Extreme Makeover" next."

He said: "Yeah, maybe someone can help him with that onion-of-a-hairstyle."

She said: "Now that's something I'd be willing to watch on Pay-Per-View!"

O v e r h e a r d...

2006-03-30T05:05:00.000-08:00

"Kansas is the pork-rind of the U.S."

Blogging Frenzy...

2006-03-20T22:01:00.000-08:00

I've given birth to yet another blog. So that now makes 3. Oh, plus my Flickr blog. I haven't found my online voice yet, so I've been a bit like a teenager trying on identities.

My latest blog, The Hippest Kid, reflects quite a bit of soul searching. I took a look at my bookmarks and instantly realized my true calling: Shopping for quirky kid's stuff.

I live in a college town where the Baby Gap lasted about a year before its transformation into a Gap underwear store for co-eds. The only place to find cool children's clothing is Target and that is stretching the meaning of "cool" for me.

As such, I rely heavily on the Internet when shopping for the Dude. I've accumulated one hell of a link collection too, so I decided that my true calling in life must be to perpetuate the gross consumerism of simply FABULOUS kid's stuff.

I am sooo deep!

Trying it on for size...

2006-03-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'm fortunate enough to have quite a few UXP (user experience planning) years under my belt. I forget that sometimes. Over those years, I get emailed a lot of cool stuff by friends and through newsletters I've signed up for about my profession.

So, I'm experimenting with a new blog called UXP m e m e s, where I'll aggregate some of the new ideas I think are cool, sexy AND most importantly, useful.

I'm still working on my blogroll, so posts may be sporatic at first. I may ask some friends to come over and play from time to time as well.

Please check it out and let me know what you think.

View site >

Wow, I'm officially a blogger...

2006-03-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

They say you aren't really a blogger until you meet your first troll.

Boy oh boy, did anonymous take me to the woodshed... not. This is the drawback to opening comments up for my family and friends, I fear.

EDITED TO ADD:

Who said chivalry is dead? My adorable husband really got his hackles up about my troll visit and chimed in on my behalf. So caveman, so sexy!!

Beauty AND Brains

2006-03-14T12:32:00.000-08:00

Mike and I have come up with our fantasy list of celebrities we'd bag if not married. We've included our "if we were gay" selections for your enjoyment.

Mine: Jude Law and Angelina Jolie
Mike: Helen Hunt (don't ask...) and George Clooney

Today, I'm thinking of adding ol' Georgie to my list after this ballsy public admission on the Huffington Post: He's a Liberal!

I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it!

They called him Kipper, Kipper the Dog...

2006-03-13T15:28:00.000-08:00

Spent the day working and trying to tune out the Kipper the Dog theme song. Jude was home all day and a limited collection of DVDs became our nanny. I swear, I'm really not a crappy mother MOST of the time... I DID allow a brief Maisy interlude. (If you are unfamiliar with the joys of Maisy Mouse, let me direct you to this primer about Maisy from Mimi Smartypants.)

For those of you following our travails, Jude is NOT sick again, which is the typical reason he is home on a Monday.

In case you hadn't heard, Lawrence was hit by a tornado that damaged 60% of the buildings on the University of Kansas campus. So, when KU closes, apparently, so does our daycare.

This probably pisses me off disproportionately because Hilltop is also the official disease vector for the the city of Lawrence, KS. And also because I only learned about said closure after driving across town to an empty daycare parking lot at 7:30 in the morning.

Tomorrow should go better... Mike just heard news that the daycare will be open. The only spoiler would be a sick child but we all know that NEVER happens in our family.

Death by Chocolate

2006-03-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know me personally are aware of my facination with weird edibles shaped like people.

Well, add another oddity to the list: a chocolate skull cast from a mold made from a real human skull. For a mere $143.00, you can do your own unique rendition of Macbeth dinner theatre.

An end to laundricide?

2006-03-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

This is a really cool idea, a great, real-world use of wireless devices that addresses a real need. Washing machine and dryer makers supplying laundromats could really take this and run with it. I love the idea that the machine could call you, say 10 minutes before your load is done or when a machine opens up. Or in this poor guy's case, call 911 when you do something really stupid.

I lived on the 12th floor of my dorm when I was in college. It really sucked to go all the way to the basement, just to see if a machine was available. Heaven forbid I burn off a single calorie of my precious freshman 15.

Think of all the time I could have freed up to drink more cheap beer and get laid...

Death of Gordon Parks

2006-03-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

Heard on NPR this morning that Life photographer Gordon Parks died. What an odd bit of synchronicity, given that there is a current exhibit at the Spencer Museum featuring his work.

"Gordon Parks At Home and Abroad: A Small Selection, February 7–March 19, 2006 Study Gallery"

Found this lovely image courtesy of the BoingBoing post about his death.

Thinning the Herd

2006-03-08T07:29:00.000-08:00

Interesting theory about the role of sex in our evolutionary process. I feel sorry for the poor bastards that end up with all those crappy genes.

How true do I think it is? Well, the theory certainly explains some of those people I've seen shopping at Wal-Mart.

Skin Deep

2006-03-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

Heard about this web site run by the not-for-profit group Environmental Working Group today. I was horrified to learn that fully one third of personal care products contain at least 1 ingredient linked to cancer. I also didn't know that the government cannot mandate safety studies of cosmetics, and only 11 percent of the 10,500 ingredients FDA has documented in products have been assessed for safety by the cosmetic industry's review panel.

So what is a mother to do? Well, I promptly searched for all the products we use on Jude. I am obsessive about using organic and natural cleansers on him and was stunned that even our "Green" bodywash contained some shady ingredients such as methylparaben, which is considered a "potential endocrine disruptor, raising concern for impaired fertility or development, and increased risks for certain cancers".

How did we fare? Our California Baby Super Sensitive Bodywash got a score of 0.6 (5 being high), our Eucerine Plus Intensive Repair Lotion got a score of 1.7 and the Cetaphil cleanser got a 1.8.

I'm afraid to look up my own products since the only thing I use to determine quality for myself is "Does this smell good AND get rid of lizard skin?"

I guess it never occurred to me that my body lotion might cause breast cancer and kill me.

Haven't I been here before?

2006-03-02T09:24:00.000-08:00

Guess what? The whole household is sick AGAIN! I know that comes as a no real surprise to everyone given that we've only been sick 8 of the last 12 weeks this year.

I'm trying really hard not to make this a blog about my health because this is so freakishly unlike how we usually are. I guess this is the new "normal" that comes with daycare. I'm not going to concede to this easily. I'm looking for an alternative as soon as possible. Not sure what that means yet, but I just don't know how much more of that disease-riddled environment I can take.

I guess when I chose Hilltop, I thought that because it was affiliated with the university, it was the best choice. The program is excellent and Jude has really blossomed there. However, the reality of 10 snotty-nosed kids playing in close proximity has really hit me.

A friend may be gettting a job at KU, so if that works out, we've discussed doing a nanny share. It would be great since I work at home and can make sure no mischief occurs during the day. Fingers crossed on that one.

July can only come too soon. That is when Mike will have worked off his indentured servitude. Did I actually type that outloud? Silly me, I meant finish his doctoral internship. He'll be able to start watching the boy while wrapping up the ol' dissertation.

Or at least that's how the movie in my head goes...

You are my obsession...

2006-02-21T12:56:00.000-08:00

Omigod, I've eaten 3 of these today. That's all they had in the store, thankfully!

The macadamia & apricot are unfreakin'believable!

Tornado

2006-02-21T12:44:00.000-08:00

The whirling dervish child stops for no man.

I want off this rollercoaster!

2006-02-12T12:17:00.000-08:00

The last week has been very unpleasant. Thankfully, Jude is well again and went back to school on Monday.

I wish I could say the same for myself. Thank God I didn't have any face-to-face client meetings. I don't know to look smart and competent while using all my superpowers to balance my head on my neck.

A new level of hell has been added to my usual "cold leads to sinus infection" purgatory: Hot, flaming ear infection

The symptoms:

Pathetic whining from unbearable pain

Never-ending series of "Huh?"s that come with temporary hearing loss.

Vertigo worse than the day after a fifth of Jack Daniel's (trust me, I know of what I speak...)

It's Sunday and I still can't hear out of my right ear. I CAN, however, sit in a chair without throwing up now.

It's the little things in life, ya know??

Treatment

2006-02-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

Jude has been sick 3 of the last 4 weeks. First rotovirus, which I'm certain is Latin for projectile poop and vomiting, and now bronchiolitis.

It looks as scary as it was to get the diagnosis. My mother's intuition, which sounds a lot like the frequently WRONG neurotic voice in my head, told me something wasn't right with him. "This isn't an ordinary cold," it said ominously.

I guess the $300 I spend monthly on therapy must be working, because I nailed it. Not just kind of sick but seriously sick. This condition comes with RSV and can be a harbinger of asthma. I'm so filled with guilt because this is a kid who had a total of one cold prior to daycare. Everything they tell you about daycare is true and actually worse than I expected.

I'm lucky because he's a very agreeable child. Jude sits quietly with his breathing apparatus on and even laughs while watching the cartoons I let him watch to appease my aforementioned guilt.

This one has really undermined my confidence as a parent. I've become one of those moms that checks to see if her kid is breathing while sleeping. I'm hovering over him, worrying about his eating, drinking and peeing like I never did before. I'm worried that MY worrying will not go away after the condition does.

Hmm... This may be a sign that I need to up the monthly therapy budget to $600.

Put down the pipe...

2006-01-25T11:34:00.000-08:00

I am the only person I know that gets anxious when I think about meditating. I feel overwhelmed when I realize how long its been since I was on the cushion, like I won't remember how or something.

Must stop mixing crack and whiskey... its making me delusional again.

Dirty Little Secret

2006-01-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

Here's a little secret that Starbucks doesn't want you to know: They will serve you a better, stronger cappuccino if you want one, and they will charge you less for it.

My Charming Little Man

2006-01-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

Last night, Jude burped, said "Pig" and then oinked. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard.

Happy Anniversary Baby!

2006-01-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

Most of my friends haven't the slightest idea what I do for a living. They do know that I work from home, but that is about it. I think I have a fear of being Dooced for talking about my work in my blog.

After 12 years working as an interface designer/usability analyst/user experience planner for "the man", I've finally gotten enough street cred to run my own business. And successfully, I might add. (I've been told I need practice in patting myself on the back occasionally, so that was my feeble attempt.)

I realized today it has been 1 year since I left the relative comfort and safety of the corporate womb for the scary, uncertainty of contract labor. (Wow, I must have babies on the brain... I just used womb and labor in the same sentence...)

I didn't anticipate the dramatic change in lifestyle. If I had, I wouldn't have bought shampoo in bulk, as I shower much less often now that I roll out of bed and work in my jam jams. (Jude's word, not mine. Lapsing into baby talk again...)

I DID think that I would exercise more, since I gave up the commute time. Whatever. That would just mean I'd have to shower.

I love the extra time in the morning and evenings with Jude. I'm not rushing him around, but rather, enjoying our daily breakfast in a leisurely fashion. All told, he only spends about 5 waking hours at daycare a day, and some times, less. That feels right to me. He gets his social needs met, I get to work uninterrupted and raise my own kid.

It's funny, because the whole reason I started in my field was the possibility of freelancing freedom SOME DAY. I woke up this morning and realized the some day was TODAY.

I am blessed. Happy anniversary to me!

Drown your school board sorrows...

2005-12-16T16:21:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by dooce.

I wonder if the local liquor stores in Lawrence, KS will start to carry this... too funny! Must have...