Be Still

Dumbest Blogger Ever

2006-07-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

Quite possibly the dumbest blogger on the planet...

This anti-choice activist cites an article from the Onion in support of his cause. Too bad he is so obtuse that he didn't know it was satire.

Even worse, after 900 comments trying to explain satire to him, he posted this unbelievable follow-up. Oh, and this one...

If this is who makes up the anti-choice movement, I think it is safe to say legal abortion will stay that way.

What is up with the Miro Google logo today?

2006-04-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

Leave it to Google to distract me from fiscal responsibility. As I settle in to pay my phone bill online at the last minute, I get mesmerized by the bright shiny thing on the Google home page.

Today, the Google logo is Miro-inspired, which would be a lovely thing, except for the fact that a nosy-nellie like myself is now hopelessly off-track for the day. I feel compelled to understand WHY.

I'm not a complete philistine (hey, I went to art school...) so I do know that it is the 113th anniversary of Joan Miro's birth, but geez, what an obscure milestone to celebrate with a commemorative Google logo. What logo is slated for tomorrow? The 2,759th anniversary of the day Rome was founded?

I'm sure the blogosphere will give me the answer before the end of the day. I'll be sure to update this post for anyone who, like myself, actually gives a shit about this kind of stuff.

UPDATE:
Turns out the estate of Miro were less-than-thrilled about the tribute. They asked Google to remove it. I guess they didn't get permission to re-use certain elements in the logo. Google honored the request but issued a statement that they did not believe the logo was a copyright violation.

Thanks Blogosphere!

In the candy aisle at Walgreens

2006-04-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

He said: Doesn't your mom like "Peeps"?

She said: She could eat her weight in "Peeps".

He said: Aren't they made of marshmallow? Damn, that's a lot of "Peeps".

Dinner Conversation

2006-04-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

She said: "I think "The Apprentice" has finally run its course, thank God! Maybe the Donald could go on "Extreme Makeover" next."

He said: "Yeah, maybe someone can help him with that onion-of-a-hairstyle."

She said: "Now that's something I'd be willing to watch on Pay-Per-View!"

O v e r h e a r d...

2006-03-30T05:05:00.000-08:00

"Kansas is the pork-rind of the U.S."

Blogging Frenzy...

2006-03-20T22:01:00.000-08:00

I've given birth to yet another blog. So that now makes 3. Oh, plus my Flickr blog. I haven't found my online voice yet, so I've been a bit like a teenager trying on identities.

My latest blog, The Hippest Kid, reflects quite a bit of soul searching. I took a look at my bookmarks and instantly realized my true calling: Shopping for quirky kid's stuff.

I live in a college town where the Baby Gap lasted about a year before its transformation into a Gap underwear store for co-eds. The only place to find cool children's clothing is Target and that is stretching the meaning of "cool" for me.

As such, I rely heavily on the Internet when shopping for the Dude. I've accumulated one hell of a link collection too, so I decided that my true calling in life must be to perpetuate the gross consumerism of simply FABULOUS kid's stuff.

I am sooo deep!

Trying it on for size...

2006-03-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

I'm fortunate enough to have quite a few UXP (user experience planning) years under my belt. I forget that sometimes. Over those years, I get emailed a lot of cool stuff by friends and through newsletters I've signed up for about my profession.

So, I'm experimenting with a new blog called UXP m e m e s, where I'll aggregate some of the new ideas I think are cool, sexy AND most importantly, useful.

I'm still working on my blogroll, so posts may be sporatic at first. I may ask some friends to come over and play from time to time as well.

Please check it out and let me know what you think.

View site >

Wow, I'm officially a blogger...

2006-03-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

They say you aren't really a blogger until you meet your first troll.

Boy oh boy, did anonymous take me to the woodshed... not. This is the drawback to opening comments up for my family and friends, I fear.

EDITED TO ADD:

Who said chivalry is dead? My adorable husband really got his hackles up about my troll visit and chimed in on my behalf. So caveman, so sexy!!

Beauty AND Brains

2006-03-14T12:32:00.000-08:00

Mike and I have come up with our fantasy list of celebrities we'd bag if not married. We've included our "if we were gay" selections for your enjoyment.

Mine: Jude Law and Angelina Jolie
Mike: Helen Hunt (don't ask...) and George Clooney

Today, I'm thinking of adding ol' Georgie to my list after this ballsy public admission on the Huffington Post: He's a Liberal!

I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it!

They called him Kipper, Kipper the Dog...

2006-03-13T15:28:00.000-08:00

Spent the day working and trying to tune out the Kipper the Dog theme song. Jude was home all day and a limited collection of DVDs became our nanny. I swear, I'm really not a crappy mother MOST of the time... I DID allow a brief Maisy interlude. (If you are unfamiliar with the joys of Maisy Mouse, let me direct you to this primer about Maisy from Mimi Smartypants.)

For those of you following our travails, Jude is NOT sick again, which is the typical reason he is home on a Monday.

In case you hadn't heard, Lawrence was hit by a tornado that damaged 60% of the buildings on the University of Kansas campus. So, when KU closes, apparently, so does our daycare.

This probably pisses me off disproportionately because Hilltop is also the official disease vector for the the city of Lawrence, KS. And also because I only learned about said closure after driving across town to an empty daycare parking lot at 7:30 in the morning.

Tomorrow should go better... Mike just heard news that the daycare will be open. The only spoiler would be a sick child but we all know that NEVER happens in our family.

Death by Chocolate

2006-03-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know me personally are aware of my facination with weird edibles shaped like people.

Well, add another oddity to the list: a chocolate skull cast from a mold made from a real human skull. For a mere $143.00, you can do your own unique rendition of Macbeth dinner theatre.

An end to laundricide?

2006-03-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

This is a really cool idea, a great, real-world use of wireless devices that addresses a real need. Washing machine and dryer makers supplying laundromats could really take this and run with it. I love the idea that the machine could call you, say 10 minutes before your load is done or when a machine opens up. Or in this poor guy's case, call 911 when you do something really stupid.

I lived on the 12th floor of my dorm when I was in college. It really sucked to go all the way to the basement, just to see if a machine was available. Heaven forbid I burn off a single calorie of my precious freshman 15.

Think of all the time I could have freed up to drink more cheap beer and get laid...

Death of Gordon Parks

2006-03-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

Heard on NPR this morning that Life photographer Gordon Parks died. What an odd bit of synchronicity, given that there is a current exhibit at the Spencer Museum featuring his work.

"Gordon Parks At Home and Abroad: A Small Selection, February 7–March 19, 2006 Study Gallery"

Found this lovely image courtesy of the BoingBoing post about his death.

Thinning the Herd

2006-03-08T07:29:00.000-08:00

Interesting theory about the role of sex in our evolutionary process. I feel sorry for the poor bastards that end up with all those crappy genes.

How true do I think it is? Well, the theory certainly explains some of those people I've seen shopping at Wal-Mart.

Skin Deep

2006-03-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

Heard about this web site run by the not-for-profit group Environmental Working Group today. I was horrified to learn that fully one third of personal care products contain at least 1 ingredient linked to cancer. I also didn't know that the government cannot mandate safety studies of cosmetics, and only 11 percent of the 10,500 ingredients FDA has documented in products have been assessed for safety by the cosmetic industry's review panel.

So what is a mother to do? Well, I promptly searched for all the products we use on Jude. I am obsessive about using organic and natural cleansers on him and was stunned that even our "Green" bodywash contained some shady ingredients such as methylparaben, which is considered a "potential endocrine disruptor, raising concern for impaired fertility or development, and increased risks for certain cancers".

How did we fare? Our California Baby Super Sensitive Bodywash got a score of 0.6 (5 being high), our Eucerine Plus Intensive Repair Lotion got a score of 1.7 and the Cetaphil cleanser got a 1.8.

I'm afraid to look up my own products since the only thing I use to determine quality for myself is "Does this smell good AND get rid of lizard skin?"

I guess it never occurred to me that my body lotion might cause breast cancer and kill me.

Haven't I been here before?

2006-03-02T09:24:00.000-08:00

Guess what? The whole household is sick AGAIN! I know that comes as a no real surprise to everyone given that we've only been sick 8 of the last 12 weeks this year.

I'm trying really hard not to make this a blog about my health because this is so freakishly unlike how we usually are. I guess this is the new "normal" that comes with daycare. I'm not going to concede to this easily. I'm looking for an alternative as soon as possible. Not sure what that means yet, but I just don't know how much more of that disease-riddled environment I can take.

I guess when I chose Hilltop, I thought that because it was affiliated with the university, it was the best choice. The program is excellent and Jude has really blossomed there. However, the reality of 10 snotty-nosed kids playing in close proximity has really hit me.

A friend may be gettting a job at KU, so if that works out, we've discussed doing a nanny share. It would be great since I work at home and can make sure no mischief occurs during the day. Fingers crossed on that one.

July can only come too soon. That is when Mike will have worked off his indentured servitude. Did I actually type that outloud? Silly me, I meant finish his doctoral internship. He'll be able to start watching the boy while wrapping up the ol' dissertation.

Or at least that's how the movie in my head goes...

You are my obsession...

2006-02-21T12:56:00.000-08:00

Omigod, I've eaten 3 of these today. That's all they had in the store, thankfully!

The macadamia & apricot are unfreakin'believable!

Tornado

2006-02-21T12:44:00.000-08:00

The whirling dervish child stops for no man.

I want off this rollercoaster!

2006-02-12T12:17:00.000-08:00

The last week has been very unpleasant. Thankfully, Jude is well again and went back to school on Monday.

I wish I could say the same for myself. Thank God I didn't have any face-to-face client meetings. I don't know to look smart and competent while using all my superpowers to balance my head on my neck.

A new level of hell has been added to my usual "cold leads to sinus infection" purgatory: Hot, flaming ear infection

The symptoms:

Pathetic whining from unbearable pain

Never-ending series of "Huh?"s that come with temporary hearing loss.

Vertigo worse than the day after a fifth of Jack Daniel's (trust me, I know of what I speak...)

It's Sunday and I still can't hear out of my right ear. I CAN, however, sit in a chair without throwing up now.

It's the little things in life, ya know??

Treatment

2006-02-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

Jude has been sick 3 of the last 4 weeks. First rotovirus, which I'm certain is Latin for projectile poop and vomiting, and now bronchiolitis.

It looks as scary as it was to get the diagnosis. My mother's intuition, which sounds a lot like the frequently WRONG neurotic voice in my head, told me something wasn't right with him. "This isn't an ordinary cold," it said ominously.

I guess the $300 I spend monthly on therapy must be working, because I nailed it. Not just kind of sick but seriously sick. This condition comes with RSV and can be a harbinger of asthma. I'm so filled with guilt because this is a kid who had a total of one cold prior to daycare. Everything they tell you about daycare is true and actually worse than I expected.

I'm lucky because he's a very agreeable child. Jude sits quietly with his breathing apparatus on and even laughs while watching the cartoons I let him watch to appease my aforementioned guilt.

This one has really undermined my confidence as a parent. I've become one of those moms that checks to see if her kid is breathing while sleeping. I'm hovering over him, worrying about his eating, drinking and peeing like I never did before. I'm worried that MY worrying will not go away after the condition does.

Hmm... This may be a sign that I need to up the monthly therapy budget to $600.

Put down the pipe...

2006-01-25T11:34:00.000-08:00

I am the only person I know that gets anxious when I think about meditating. I feel overwhelmed when I realize how long its been since I was on the cushion, like I won't remember how or something.

Must stop mixing crack and whiskey... its making me delusional again.

Dirty Little Secret

2006-01-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

Here's a little secret that Starbucks doesn't want you to know: They will serve you a better, stronger cappuccino if you want one, and they will charge you less for it.

My Charming Little Man

2006-01-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

Last night, Jude burped, said "Pig" and then oinked. I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard.

Happy Anniversary Baby!

2006-01-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

Most of my friends haven't the slightest idea what I do for a living. They do know that I work from home, but that is about it. I think I have a fear of being Dooced for talking about my work in my blog.

After 12 years working as an interface designer/usability analyst/user experience planner for "the man", I've finally gotten enough street cred to run my own business. And successfully, I might add. (I've been told I need practice in patting myself on the back occasionally, so that was my feeble attempt.)

I realized today it has been 1 year since I left the relative comfort and safety of the corporate womb for the scary, uncertainty of contract labor. (Wow, I must have babies on the brain... I just used womb and labor in the same sentence...)

I didn't anticipate the dramatic change in lifestyle. If I had, I wouldn't have bought shampoo in bulk, as I shower much less often now that I roll out of bed and work in my jam jams. (Jude's word, not mine. Lapsing into baby talk again...)

I DID think that I would exercise more, since I gave up the commute time. Whatever. That would just mean I'd have to shower.

I love the extra time in the morning and evenings with Jude. I'm not rushing him around, but rather, enjoying our daily breakfast in a leisurely fashion. All told, he only spends about 5 waking hours at daycare a day, and some times, less. That feels right to me. He gets his social needs met, I get to work uninterrupted and raise my own kid.

It's funny, because the whole reason I started in my field was the possibility of freelancing freedom SOME DAY. I woke up this morning and realized the some day was TODAY.

I am blessed. Happy anniversary to me!

Drown your school board sorrows...

2005-12-16T16:21:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by dooce.

I wonder if the local liquor stores in Lawrence, KS will start to carry this... too funny! Must have...

Should Liberals Stop Defending Roe?

2005-12-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

http://legalaffairs.org/webexclusive/debateclub_ayotte1105.msp

This lively exchange discusses a possible future for Democrats if Roe V. Wade is taken off the table. I personally liken it to that guy who cuts off his arm to get out of the canyon crevass to save himself from dying.

I would be willing to let Roe be overturned for the following reasons:

Roe is not exactly the poster child for great legal decision making in our country. Remove the objection to Roe on legal mumbo-jumbo grounds and you are left talking about the real issue of safe, legal access to healthcare for women.
Republicans will no longer be able to use it as a wedge issue, rallying the religious right to the polls.
It puts anti-federalist conservatives in the awkward position of rejecting states rights when the abortion issue would inevitably become a matter of local government.

Progressive Dems can propose legislation that puts the the REAL cards on the table and is resistant to legal challenge. They have the votes: Most Americans do not want a constitutional ban on abortion.

Progressives need to start thinking differently about the political climate of today. While appeals to reason definitely matter to the Democratic base, many in the middle and right don't respond well to Venn diagrams, charts and lists of facts. Dems need the middle to win elections; stop talking to them like they're members of the liberal choir. Use THEIR language to talk about issues THEY care about.

The Republicans already know this... why else would they be in power right now? They are most certainly not the PEOPLE'S party.

Good Day Sunshine

2005-11-28T11:30:00.000-08:00

Jude is just so amazing right now. I love him more and more as each day passes. No longer just "the baby", he has opinions and thoughts, and now, the words to let us in on it all.

"Help" has been the most powerful word in his vocabulary. It gets results every time. He says "back" to the dogs when they get in his space and "mom" (finally...) when he needs a hug.

Oh, my heart breaks when I think of the fact that he is merely on loan and will eventually go on adventures without me.

Iron Mike

2005-11-27T13:05:00.000-08:00

Mike trying to relax after a day of Robert Bly bonding in a kayak with his pal Spencer.

READ!

2005-11-27T12:13:00.000-08:00

Jude and his Uncle Michael

Giving Thanks

2005-11-27T09:43:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was surprisingly laid back this year. Maybe that's the difference a year makes when you have a baby. Much easier to travel with a 18 month old than a 6 month old.

Jude is like a parrot. We have to be careful about the swearing now. I'm sure his daycare teacher, Miss Heather, would not appreciate being told to "Fuck off". He mastered the word "crazy" on his first try, which is not surprising in our family. It has joined "tattoo" in his latest repertoire.

Mom really put out the spread. She definitely outdid herself and still managed to have a good time. I, the one without much of a sweet-tooth, had 4 desserts! Frangelico cake, bread pudding with brandy sauce, French silk pie, and a chocolate cookie. I'm totally grossing myself out as I type this!

Michael (my younger brother) is in town from Chicago this weekend. He looks healthy and handsome. He seems more relaxed than I've seen him in years. Maybe he took up Wellbutrin and didn't tell anyone. I noticed he's not smoking, which is terrific. Now if he could only kick the Playboy bunny/crazy chick habit...

The hubby, Mike, went kayaking on Saturday, which seems a bit nuts, given that it is November. He was instructed by our friend Spencer to wear "low-impact" shoes in the inflatable boat. We wouldn't want the kayak to pop, thus depriving Mensa of two of its most illustrious members! Low-impact apparently means brightly colored "Crocs", a trend Mike and I have managed to avoid. It is much more difficult than it sounds until you realize we live in a college town and are constantly reminded of how tragically un-hip we are by sheer virtue of being over 30.

It sounds like a great time was had and that it wasn't cold at all. Mike now has kayak fever, but I think I'll wait 'til Spring to pursue this hobby with him.

As for me, my new 50mm lens has changed my life. How on Earth did I live before this purchase? It is simply dreamy. I sprung for the f1.4. Selling your horse can buy a lot of good gear, I've discovered. My friend Chris once said that owning a horse is like owning a boat. Boats, however, don't need and crave companionship.

In case you didn't know, I sold Kalen to the woman who was leasing him while I was pregnant. She loves him and he loves her. I have a lot of peace about the whole transaction. No more guilt about not having time for a such a wonderful creature.

So I guess what I'm thankful for this year is a movement toward peace in the lives of me and my family members. I'm going to be the change I want to see in the world, and the world really needs some PEACE, LOVE and UNDERSTANDING right now.

Child Pose

2005-11-21T10:40:00.000-08:00

Sugar Baby

2005-10-31T10:30:00.000-08:00

This little baby is made of marzipan, which means it is edible. Is it just me or does it seem a bit taboo to eat candy shaped like babies? Or is it just a safe forum for our cannibalistic desires?

To be honest, who cares, because marzipan tastes like shit and no one really wants to eat it anyway!

Pumpkin Patch

2005-10-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

Perjury, smerjury...

2005-10-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Hutchison is sooo busted for the hypocrite she is...

---Hutchison vs. Hutchison---

If you follow her logic to its natural conclusion:

Perjuring yourself over an illicit Oval Office blowjob - Bring on the impeachment hearings!

Perjuring yourself over treasonous acts and national security violations - Hey, everybody makes mistakes...

What a wingnut --

Taliban takes over Target in Fenton, MO

2005-10-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

I think the time has come for the Black family to pack up our big brains and move to Canada. The latest event to trigger my expatriate wanderlust was this article:

---Target Pharmacist Refuses to Fill Emergency Contraception Prescription---

Why on Earth would someone become a pharmacist knowing that part of their job involves filling prescriptions in a world filled with "fornicators"?

I wonder if this same pharmacist requires a marriage license when men come to fill their Viagra prescriptions.

Until I get the details of our escape plan nailed down, I guess I'll have to hide my Target card... oh the pain...

What's next? Gay Mother Teresa?

2005-10-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

--- Groups Threaten to Boycott American Girl - Yahoo! News ---

This is the kind of stuff that just DRIVES ME CRAZY!

You can't do a good turn these days without pissing off some crazy religious fanatic... They are a little TOO obsessed with homosexuality... Gay Burt and Ernie, Gay Elmo, Gay Teletubbies and now Gay American Girl dolls.

I doubt my niece will become gay or run out and get an abortion after playing with Kaya, the Nez Perce Native American doll and her pup Tatlo.

Fucking idiots... Who are these people and where do they live?

Argh!

Joking Matter

2005-10-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

My friend Suzie just sent me a joke that I think she got from her 6 year-old nephew. Which of course means it is PERFECT for her 39 year-old married mom friend as well.

"I went into the 7-11 gas station today and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt."

While on the topic of bodily functions, tonight was a new milestone for Jude. He took his first dump in the bathtub while playing with Mr. Fishy. I was so proud...

Dollars and Sense

2005-09-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

OK, I admit it... I've got some serious issues when it comes to worrying about money, way beyond what "normal" people must feel.

This recently became apparent when I didn't have any work for 10 days. I believe I described the way I felt to a friend as "having a 300 lb. man stand on my chest" the whole time.

Thankfully, I'm working now. However, I resigned myself to explore this experience in an attempt to never feel that oppressive weight again.

One thing I'm trying to come to grips with is that I'll never have enough saved to feel safe. No one does... hell, the economy could crash around us and render all currency worthless tomorrow. There is nothing I can do about that... it is out of my control.

Accepting that sometimes life is certain and sometimes it's not, the yin to the yang, is the nugget I'm seeking to integrate.

So, I'm hoping that the next time the fat man comes back (oh, he will... it is inevitable...), he will have shed some pounds and not linger so long.

Price gouging out my eyes...

2005-09-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

Get the T-shirt here... I'm thinking of getting it for Mike. He is at the pump often, and therefore, pissed off often. His hideous commute is eating half our budget, it seems.

This should be illegal...

2005-09-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

My friend Suzie just sent me this email that I had to post:

The link below was on Baby Center - AP board and I had to share it with you. Why even have a baby? Is this product even safe? Let's just think of all kinds of ways not to hold, love and nurture our babies!! http://www.petitecreations.net/FrMom.htm

Sadly, this is TRUE...

2005-09-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

President Bush asks Condi Rice if he can go potty at the U.N. (Reuters photo; article is here.) One would think that the leader of the free world doesn't need to ask permission to pee. Isn't that one of the perks of the job?

Bathroon Break
Originally uploaded by Vidiot.

Find Balance

2005-09-12T13:57:00.001-07:00

Yin Yang
Originally uploaded by Be Still.

Spoons and Socks

2005-09-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

Since I know my husband is probably lurking around my blog these days, I thought I'd give him a mission with purpose: Where the hell are all the spoons?

I type this as I eat my yogurt with a fork and drip all over my keyboard.

Faux Lomo

2005-09-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

Playa
Originally uploaded by Be Still.

Missing my old girl today...

2005-09-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

Gretta
Originally uploaded by Be Still.

Lessons from Katrina

2005-09-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Quote from the BBC regarding the crisis in New Orleans:

The uneasy paradox which so many live with in this country - of being first-and-foremost rugged individuals, out to plunder what they can and paying as little tax as they can get away with, while at the same time believing that America is a robust, model society - has reached a crisis point this week.

Mama Papparazzi

2005-09-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is Jude trying to escape from having every moment of his life
captured on film.

Happy Birthday Suzie!

2005-09-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

Another year around the big blue marble for you... hope it was a joyous one! Miss you...

You always remember your first time...

2005-09-01T08:13:00.000-07:00

This is my inaugural post and I was hoping to start on a positive note. However, it would be strangely disconnected from reality to not acknowledge the heavy sadness blanketing our household.

The events on the Gulf Coast are almost too painful to deal with. Conversations with Mike, the hubby, revealed that this tragedy had been modeled by scientists at L.S.U. for years.

It is unbelievable how prophetic this article from 2001 is today:

Scientific American: Drowning New Orleans
[ CIVIL ENGINEERING ]
A major hurricane could swamp New Orleans under 20 feet of water, killing thousands. Human activities along the Mississippi River have dramatically increased the risk, and now only massive reengineering of southeastern Louisiana can save the city.

Maybe this will be the wake-up call other low-lying coastal communities need. How sad no one in New Orleans seems to have gotten the memo...